


Greener Pastures

by imdirty



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Homosexuality, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Post Season 6, Romance, Sex, Somewhat Fluffy, come for the ride, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdirty/pseuds/imdirty
Summary: Post season 6. Love finds Thomas, but Thomas finds himself struggling to let love in. Slow(ish) burn.





	1. Christmas gift

Downton’s annual Christmas celebration for the villagers was always a welcome change of pace for the staff. One night each year, the guests in attendance were people of the staff’s status, rather than of the Crawley’s. Many of the guests were familiar to the staff, faces from the village, and even friends. As Downton’s butler, everyone in the village knew of Thomas. He had been invited to sit on committee and to join groups and clubs, all of the things Mr. Carson participated in over the years. Thomas hadn’t considered these obligations when the job of butler was hastily offered the year before, in the same spot he stood now serving the villagers. He became involved in the community slowly, like dipping a toe in chilly ocean water. Though he didn’t consider any of the people he met that year his friends, they greeted him warmly that evening, and he wondered if perhaps they could be friends someday.

Thomas also wondered if he was supposed to recognize a man on the other side of the great hall who kept finding his eyes over the crowd. Thomas smiled politely each time, then returned his gaze to the glasses on the table before him. After an hour of the game, he looked up from pouring a glass to find the man on the other side of the table, smiling broadly, waiting for a drink. 

“I’m sorry, have we met?” Thomas asked, returning the smile.

“I don’t believe so, no. You’re the butler, right?”

Thomas handed a glass to the man and nodded once. He poured more glasses and handed them to other villagers. “Are you new to the village?” 

The man shook his head, his light brown hair shifting into his eyes. He brushed it aside, then adjusted his tie. “Lived here all my life, though this is my first Christmas at Downton since childhood. What’s your name?”

“Mr. Barrow.”

“No, your first name.”

Thomas handed out another glass, but his eyes were on the man’s this time. “It’s Thomas.”

“Pleased to meet you, Thomas,” the man said, raising his glass. “I’m Eli.”

“Pleased to meet you, too, but I must return to my duties,” Thomas said, raising a glass as well before handing it to someone else.

“Or what? The butler will punish you?” Eli chuckled when Thomas quickly met his eyes. “I’m kidding. Sort of.” 

Thomas rubbed his lips together to wipe away a smile. “Enjoy your drink.”

Eli handed the full glass back to Thomas. “This was only an excuse to introduce myself,” he said, and then blended back into the crowd.

Thomas’s heart fluttered, not sure if he had misinterpreted the interaction. But, no, Eli was very likely flirting. The feeling wasn’t as familiar to Thomas as it once had been, but it was undeniable. And why try to deny it, Thomas asked himself. Enjoy something for once. It’s Christmas, after all.

Thomas asked a footman to take his place at the table. He jogged downstairs to his office, wrote a note on a slip of paper, and jogged just as quickly back upstairs. He folded the paper and set it under the foot of a wine glass on a tray, then added a few more glasses. He carried the tray quickly through the crowd, past the Christmas tree, over to where Eli now stood chatting with two couples Thomas recognized from the village. Thomas offered the drinks to the group, turning the tray so Eli would see the glass with the paper. Eli noticed it immediately. He scooped the glass from the tray, one hand on the top and one at the bottom, and then slid the paper into his jacket pocket. Thomas and Eli looked at each other quickly, long enough for each to see a smile in the other man’s eyes. 

Thomas was distracted for the rest of the night. Any sight of Eli made Thomas’s cheeks warm, and when Eli wasn’t in sight, Thomas’s thoughts raced. He imagined getting a drink with Eli, and it turning into two drinks and then three, and then getting an invitation back to Eli’s home. Did he live alone? Was he even available? Thomas snubbed out any thoughts of doubt. Don’t deny yourself this glimmer of joy, Thomas reminded himself. 

As the staff mingled with the villagers, Thomas noted that Eli greeted Andy with familiarity. As soon as he could get a moment of Andy’s time, Thomas asked casually how Andy knew Eli. 

“He’s a farmer. Sheep and goats,” Andy informed Thomas as they both filled the final round of glasses for the evening.

Thomas imagined Eli using a pitchfork to distribute hay, sweating and shirtless, muscles flexing as he grunted with effort. He cleared his throat and blinked hard, smiled at a confused Andy, and took the last tray of drinks for a walk.

In his bed that evening, Thomas stared at the ceiling with his fingers laced across his beating chest. He wanted to know everything about Eli, and as more time passed in the dark, alone, he wanted to know everything about what Eli looked like under his suit. He allowed himself to picture the farm scene again and closed his eyes, his hands traveling from his beating chest tor his stomach, which was rising and falling with ragged breaths. He stroked himself and sighed through parted lips, licking them between quiet moans. Of all the things he could fantasize about, it was the attention Eli had given him that excited him the most. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been lucky in that way, and certainly not from someone so handsome and promising. He recalled Eli’s smiling, deep brown eyes. He pictured light kisses from Eli’s pink lips growing warmer with passion, and then Eli’s fingers replacing his own on himself as the kissing continued. His head tilted back as his climax built, and he bit his lip and gasped as he came, picturing Eli looking on with a pleased smile.

\---------- 

The piece of paper Thomas handed Eli listed three times and places over the next two weeks where Thomas would be at a pub after hours. Eli didn’t show up the first two times, but Thomas didn’t lose hope, and on the third night, Eli arrived exactly on time. He found Thomas at a table in the very back of the pub. No matter what night of the week, the pub was always crowded, and Thomas knew their conversation would be lost amongst the din. Privacy among the masses, Thomas called it. There were electric lamps on the walls casting a warm yellow light on the crowd. A man played a variety of songs on a piano which could still be heard above the noise. 

Eli was wearing a different suit than the one he’d worn for the Christmas celebration, and Thomas realized he had assumed that a farmer wouldn’t need more than one nice suit. What else have I assumed wrongly, Thomas wondered. 

The smile Eli greeted Thomas with was even wider and warmer than his smiles at the celebration, and he looked practically giddy to sit across the table from Thomas. Perhaps he’s been having similar fantasies about me, Thomas thought. They both placed orders for drinks, and Eli added an order of chips. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Eli said bashfully. “I had dinner, but today was long, and I’m starving.”

“Order whatever you’d like,” Thomas said, grinning as he lit a cigarette. “Care for one of these?” he asked, holding up the box of cigarettes.

“Oh, no thank you. They kill my appetite and now I have my heart set on eating an embarrassing amount of chips in front of you.”

Thomas chuckled. “Why would you be embarrassed?”

Eli waited for the barmaid to set down their drinks before speaking. “Because I want to impress you.”

“With your eating skills?”

Eli smiled and shook his head. “Teasing me already? We’ve only just met.”

“I’m a tease, what can I say?”

Eli raised an eyebrow. “I hope not too much of a tease.”

Thomas felt his cheeks grow warm. He took a drag to calm himself, breathing in deeply and then exhaling slowly, away from Eli. “Time will tell.”

Eli chuckled. “Not too much time, I hope.”

The basket of chips was deposited in front of Eli and he looked at them cautiously.

“Is something wrong?”

“I feel silly eating alone. Will you have at least one?”

Thomas rested his cigarette in an ashtray and lifted one of the chips the same way he had held the cigarette. He inspected it, then took a bite. The hot, fried potato felt decadent compared to what Mrs. Patmore has been serving the staff now that economics were worse and food costs were higher. Eli could tell Thomas enjoyed the chip and pushed the basket further across the table.

“What should we order for the second course?” Eli asked as he ate a chip in one bite.

“My goodness, multiple courses. This is turning into quite the outing.”

Eli raised an eyebrow while waving a chip. “I told you I wanted to impress you.”

The two laughed and talked, here and there revealing more and more personal information. Eli lived alone, Thomas learned. He grew up in the village and moved back recently after his father’s passing to take over the family farm. He had also served in the war, and his older brothers served and died. A sister passed during childhood, and mother not long after, and so Eli was the last of his immediate family. The more Eli shared, the more Thomas felt that he was being trusted as if they were already friends. The evening began to feel intimate, special, and Thomas hoped, just the start of something. 

“Did you decide what you wanted for a second course?” Thomas asked as he and Eli split the last chip.

Eli finished his drink and leaned closer to Thomas. “I have bread and cheese back at my cottage, and some wine as well. Maybe we could eat there instead.”

Thomas’s eyes went to Eli’s lips, looking for a sign from his smile whether he was truly offering a snack, or something more. It wasn’t that Eli was hard to read, but it was hard for Thomas to believe such a lovely, handsome young man was inviting him over. How long had it been? Thomas wondered. Who cares, we’re here now, another part of him replied.

Eli attempted to pay but Thomas stopped him, insisting that he had done the inviting and would therefore do the paying. Eli held the door for Thomas as they exited, and Thomas noticed how calloused Eli’s fingers were from hard work. I’ve never been touched by calloused hands, Thomas thought. Other servants, or nobility, or people in similar worlds, but not a man like Eli. Not even during the war.

The cottage was about a mile away, back towards the Abbey. It was much colder than when Thomas walked to the pub, and he wished he could wrap an arm around Eli as they walked. Eli occasionally bumped shoulders with Thomas and apologized, blaming the drinks, but Thomas wondered if Eli was distracted by similar thoughts of walking in each other's arms through the cold night.

Thomas had walked by the cottage hundreds of times in his years at Downton. There was a silly wood carving of dancing sheep on the door that often made him smile. Eli took Thomas’s coat and hat, then took off his own jacket and rolled up his sleeves to light a fire. He gestured for Thomas to sit, but instead Thomas paced the cottage while Eli prepared a plate for the two to share. 

“You could open that wine if you’d like,” Eli said over his shoulder, nodding to a bottle by the sink. 

Thomas opened the wine and poured it into glasses drying by the sink. He carried them to Eli’s small kitchen table as Eli carried the plate, but Eli motioned to the floor by the fire instead. Thomas took off his jacket and sat cross-legged by the fire. Eli sat with his legs to the side and scooted until he was nearly touching Thomas’s. He lifted the glass to Thomas, drank a sip as Thomas savored his, and then spread cheese onto a thin slice of bread. He held it out for Thomas, but pulled it back when Thomas reached for it with his fingers. He held it out again, but Thomas wasn’t sure what Eli wanted. 

“Eat,” Eli said, holding the bread to Thomas’s lips.

Thomas tentatively took a bite, his lips just barely touching Eli’s fingers as he closed them. He closed his eyes as he chewed, took a sip of wine, and shook his head. “That’s absolutely delicious.”

“Thank you. I made them both.”

“Really? I can barely toast bread let alone bake it.”

Eli chuckled. “Would you like another?”

Thomas nodded, and kept his hands in his lap as Eli fed him once more, this time letting his fingers linger. 

Once Thomas swallowed, Eli leaned forward and kissed Thomas’s cheek. Eli’s eyelids were heavy as he gazed at Thomas’s lips. “Is this alright?”

Thomas nodded, holding his wine glass tightly as Eli kissed the same spot on his cheek softly, tenderly, slowly. 

“I like you very much,” Eli whispered into Thomas’s ear.

“I’m beginning to notice.”

Eli took Thomas’s wine and set it on the hearth. 

“You’re quick-witted,” Eli whispered as he placed slow, soft kisses on Thomas’s cheek. “You’re sharp,” he added, kissing Thomas’s jaw. “And so, so handsome,” he said finally, kissing Thomas’s neck.

Was this real, Thomas wondered. It felt too much like one of his fantasies. Eli’s hands and lips hadn’t gone lower than his neck, but Thomas could feel Eli in every part of his body. He breathed deeply, his eyes closed, leaning into Eli’s lips and fingers as they explored. 

“Is this moving too fast?” Eli asked, sitting back to look over Thomas’s face. 

“No, why?”

Eli cradled Thomas’s face in his hands and shrugged. “You look distracted.”

Thomas laughed and averted Eli’s eyes. “It’s just been a very long time since I was paid this kind of attention.”

“That can’t be true,” Eli said, finally kissing Thomas on the lips.

Thomas inhaled sharply, his fingers quickly finding themselves buried in Eli’s thick hair, pulling Eli closer. Eli kept his kisses slow, but Thomas made them deep, both men sighing as Thomas’s tongue slowly slid past Eli’s lips. Though Eli’s fingers may have been calloused, his lips weren’t chapped from his days outside. They were smooth, soft, and growing fuller as the two continued kissing. 

Eli broke the kiss and brushed his hair from his eyes. “Shall we move to the bedroom?”

Thomas looked up at Eli’s smile illuminated by the now roaring fire. “I like it right here,” Thomas whispered.

“Are you sure? This floor isn’t very comfortable.”

“How can I feel any discomfort when you’re looking at me like that?”

Eli ran the back of his finger along Thomas’s bottom lip, then kissed him again. Thomas was lost in the kiss and barely noticed as Eli freed him of his tie and collar, and then from his waistcoat. Eli then removed everything to his waist without breaking the kiss. He sat back on his knees, looking down at Thomas, pleased to watch Thomas take him in. 

Eli reached for Thomas’s shirt buttons, but Thomas put his hand over Eli’s. “I’m a bit older than you. And less… athletic these days.”

“Oh, please,” Eli said, his hands back on Thomas’s shirt. “Just a peek at your neck tells me I’m going to love everything below it,” he whispered, placing a slow and gentle kiss just beneath Thomas’s ear.

Thomas closed his eyes, but kept his hand on his shirt. “And like I said, it’s been so long for me.”

Eli sat back again and waited for Thomas’s eyes to open before speaking. “Then let’s not rush.”

Thomas sat up quickly. “No, I’m sorry. I want this. I want you.”

“I can tell,” Eli chuckled, rubbing Thomas’s cheekbone with his thumb. “We can pick up right here next time,” he added as he slipped his undershirt back on.

Thomas sighed regretfully and stared at the fire. It was much nicer with Eli’s shirt on the floor.

“It’s alright, I promise. I went too fast.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did,” Eli said as he slipped his arms through his shirtsleeves. “I’m not normally like this. Maybe it’s because you’ve been on my mind so much.”

Thomas blushed and gave a half smile, his eyes still averted. 

Eli rose to his feet and offered a hand to Thomas. Thomas accepted the assistance, and continued to hold Eli’s hand once he was standing. He felt foolish for ending the evening, but also relieved. Letting someone get so close so fast never ended well, Thomas thought. If Eli can wait for a second date, or a third, then maybe there was a real chance of something more.


	2. Chapter 2

“Spare a moment?” Miss Baxter asked from Thomas’s office doorway.

Thomas removed his spectacles, an accessory he begrudgingly donned in order to see his paperwork clearly. “For you? Always. Care for some tea?”

Miss Baxter put up her hand. “No, thank you. I just dropped in to check on you. You’ve seemed distracted.”

Thomas sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I’ll say,” he said with raised eyebrows, gesturing broadly to the papers spread across his desk. “Circus acrobatics would be easier than the balance it takes to get this house’s budget in order. And that,” he said, pointing to a lopsided tower of papers in the corner of his desk, “is the London house. Haven’t touched that in weeks. Maybe the family won’t go to London this spring, eh? A man can dream, after all.”

A smile grew across Miss Baxter’s lips as Thomas described his current headache. “Why are you the most animated when you’re complaining?”

“I take exception to that,” Thomas said with faux offense. “I don’t complain near as much as I used to.”

“Though it’s still a fair amount.”

“Aye, what’s this teasing for?” Thomas asked, his troubled tone belied by his smile. 

“The thing you enjoy second most to complaining is teasing.”

“Yes, when I’m doing the teasing,” Thomas replied, slipping his spectacles back to the tip of his nose. “When I’m doing it, Miss Baxter.”

Miss Baxter chuckled. “Don’t go back to your work so fast. I still say you’re distracted, but it’s more than papers. Just tell me you’re alright, please?”

“I’m alright,” Thomas said, briefly looking over his wire frames at Miss Baxter. “And you?”

Miss Baxter sighed. Surprised by the response, Thomas removed his glasses again. Miss Baxter looked over her shoulder before responding. “I’m still concerned about Mrs. Hughes. She’s seemed even more drained than the last time I mentioned it to you.”

Thomas gave a quick nod. “I’ve seen it, too. I offered extra time for a vacation, but she declined. I tried to delegate more of her duties, but she took offense. If you think of a way we could remove some of her burden, I’m all ears.”

“I’m sure it would require more budgetary acrobatics.”

Thomas puffed up his cheeks and released the air. “Well then I’m sorry, any more daring feats and I think the curtain will fall for good on this act.”

“The thing you like third most is dramatics.”

“Alright, alright. Back to work Miss Baxter,” Thomas said as he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. He looked up again when he could feel Miss Baxter’s eyes still on him. 

“You’re really alright?”

“I’m alright,” Thomas said, waving his hand. “Don’t worry about me.”

\---------

Thomas’s lips and right hand were numb from the cold, and for a moment he was almost glad he’d lost most of the feeling in his left hand during the war. He used his the thumb on his left hand to flick his lighter until a flame finally won out against the winter wind. The flame illuminated his icy pink cheeks as he raised a cigarette in his trembling lips. Was Eli ever coming tonight, Thomas wondered as he paced the dirt road in front of the cottage. They had met three previous times, and Eli had never been late.

“You could’ve let yourself in!” a familiar voice called from forty paces away. 

“Yes, I could’ve, if it weren’t locked,” Thomas replied with a frozen-lipped smile.

“I’m so sorry,” Eli said, jogging to the door. “I swear I left it unlocked for you.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’ll let you make it up to me.”

The door was indeed unlocked, but was as frozen as Thomas. Thomas lit his lighter once again and used it to warm the lock. When the door finally opened, it revealed a fire already burning, a bottle of wine and two glasses set on the table.

“I don’t have time for all that,” Thomas said, nodding to the table as he removed his overcoat.

“I put it out when I thought you would get a head start. Or perhaps, this time, you could stay a bit longer?”

Thomas looked at a hopeful, smiling Eli from the side of his eye, then picked up the wine bottle. He read the label, impressed by the quality of the vintage, and set it back on the table. “Let’s save it for a time when we can enjoy it properly.”

“And what do you have time to enjoy properly this evening?”

Thomas chuckled. “I have enough time to warm up from the cold before heading right back out into it.” 

Eli lead Thomas to the hearth. “Which part of you is the coldest?”

Thomas licked his lips, still numb and now tingling from the warmth of his tongue. “How about you warm up my hands with yours?”

“Well what do you know?,” Eli said, enclosing both hands around Thomas’s, “there’s even time for a little bit of romance.”

“A little bit,” Thomas said, closing his eyes as the Eli’s lips found his in the dimly-lit cottage. 

“I’ll take what I can get,” Eli said after the long but delicate kiss. 

“So,” Thomas said, licking his lips again, “what kept you this evening?”

Eli rolled his eyes as he recalled his evening. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Now I must know.”

Eli laughed and squeezed Thomas’s hands. “I’ve had to bring the sheep in every night since it’s been so bitterly cold, and one escaped as I was closing the pens in the barn. Foolish sheep. I was doing her a favor.”

“Why is that embarrassing?”

“Because I had to chase her,” Eli said, shaking Thomas’s hands. “I had to chase a sheep through the cold night because she’s too stupid to know that being warm is better than freezing.”

“The life of a farmer.”

“Quite the life, indeed.”

Thomas brought Eli’s hands to his lips. “I’m sorry the stupid sheep ran away from you,” he said, kissing Eli’s knuckles with smiling lips.

“Such a stupid sheep,” Eli said, watching Thomas kiss his fingers slowly. “There was a long time there where I didn’t have to chase sheep for a living.”

“Yeah? What did you do instead?”

Eli’s scooted closer to Thomas. “Well, still nothing exciting. I was a baker. But I was making my way up in that world, I probably could have been a head baker if my fate was different.”

“Your fate?” Thomas said, shaking his head. “There’s fate and then there’s fatalism. If you don’t enjoy farm life, you don’t have to stay on the farm.”

Eli rubbed Thomas’s palms with his thumbs. “That’s easy to say when it’s not your life’s path. I’m the last of the line, this farm would have died with my dad if I didn’t take it on.”

“Or it dies with you. Or, Eli, you sell it and do what you actually want to do. There are options.”

Eli shook his head. “It’s not the burden I’m making it out to be. The cold weather is icing my heart, I suppose. I enjoy this work when it’s warmer, truly. And I’m thankful for it. Not everyone inherits something like this, especially not these days. And I still get to bake sometimes.”

“And I’m glad you do.”

“What about you? Did you always want to be butler?”

Thomas grabbed Eli’s thumbs. “Changing the subject I see.”

“Maybe.”

Thomas released Eli’s thumbs and relaxed as Eli continued rubbing. “I never really wanted to be anything in particular. Just… just important, I suppose.”

“And you are.”

Thomas shrugged as he watched Eli’s busy hands. “You could say that.”

“Well you are to me,” Eli said quietly. He waited for Thomas to look up, then kissed him slowly. 

As Eli’s kiss began trailing to Thomas’s neck, Thomas pulled away. He brushed Eli’s hair with his fingers. “I can’t.”

“I know, but I can still hope. A quick glass of wine for the road?”

“Maybe next time.”

The two men stood, and Eli helped Thomas into his overcoat. “Or maybe next time we meet, it could be somewhere besides my cottage?”

Thomas wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck as Eli fastened his buttons. “The pub?”

“Maybe a different location. Have you been skating yet this season?”

“This season?” Thomas repeated with a smile as he pulled on his gloves. “I haven’t been skating this decade. Nor the last.”

Eli handed Thomas his hat and smoothed Thomas’s overcoat lapels with his palms. He patted Thomas’s chest. “It would be fun. Have you heard of fun?”

“Heard of it, yes, but rarely participate.”

“I want to have fun with you, Thomas.”

Thomas pressed his lips to Eli’s cheek, then rubbed the tip of his nose against Eli’s. “We will. I’ve just been chasing my own sheep these days. We’ll have fun soon.”

“The ice’ll be melted by then.”

“Then we’ll do something else in the water.”

Eli’s posture straightened. “Really?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Thomas chuckled. “But I like how you think.”

As Eli watched Thomas walk away down the dirt road, he reflected on how he had never known a man like Thomas; cocky yet humble, confident yet awkward, and fragile beneath his sharp wit. Eli was sure when he moved to the village he would stay single, assuming his options for a partner would be slim to none. Yet here was a man more promising than any he encountered during his years away from the village, and Thomas lived just up the road. Eli knew how lucky he was to have found Thomas, and stayed as patient as he could, but grew more frustrated with the passing time.

And as that time passed, Eli’s intuition was correct. When the raw winter finally gave over to crisp early spring, Eli invited Thomas out for a day of golf. But Thomas said he only had time for the pub or the cottage, and he could barely manage the time to stay long at either place. There was no true day off for a Downton butler. There was one day that Eli was surprised to see Thomas in the village during the day, and was about to call out when he saw another hand holding Thomas’s. A young boy. That must be little George that Thomas had mentioned, Eli thought. He stayed back and watched Thomas chat with George about the clocks displayed in a shop window. Thomas kneeled to George’s height even though the ground was wet after a spring shower, and seemed oblivious that his knee was getting wet. Eli couldn’t hear what the two discussed, but it ended with a laugh as Thomas hoisted George onto his back. I’ve found the sweetest man in Yorkshire, Eli thought as he continued on his way. Now how do I really make him mine, he wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

At least once per week, Thomas walked the grounds with Mr. Carson. Though they discussed house business, it had been months since Mr. Carson was officially on the payroll and was finally considered fully retired. Still, it was beneficial for both men to talk shop. It helped keep Mr. Carson’s mind sharp, and it helped Thomas work through the daily struggles of being Downton’s butler. On this afternoon’s walk, Thomas brought up the latest chatter among the senior staff; Mrs. Hughes. 

“She has no interest in retiring any time soon,” Mr. Carson said before Thomas could finish his thought.

“I didn’t mean to suggest that she did, but perhaps she could take a true holiday and leave her duties to Anna and Miss Baxter. When she returns, she’ll see she can trust them each with more of her tasks.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“It’s not completely mine. Miss Baxter thought the only way Mrs. Hughes would delegate more duties is to do so from a distance.”

“Better than having no choice but to take a step back.”

Thomas smiled from beneath his hat brim. “Did I put my foot in my mouth again?”

Mr. Carson smiled slightly. “No, you know I’ve moved past all that. I’m content with our current arrangement, though I do wish Mrs. Hughes was home more often to spend some of my retirement with me.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll talk to her this afternoon, and maybe you can talk with her this evening. So what if she knows we’re in cahoots? Maybe she’ll listen if it comes from us both.”

When Thomas tried to find a moment with Mrs. Hughes, she was not interested in listening. Thomas had to chase her as she busily walked the corridors downstairs. “A two week holiday?” she said while clicking her tongue. “Will anyone remember me when I return?”

Thomas’s stride matched Mrs. Hughes’s. “Please, take time for yourself. You deserve it. We all need relaxation now and then.”

“And when was the last time you relaxed, exactly?”

“Well I spent almost four decades being relatively relaxed in my duties.”

Mrs. Hughes stopped and looked up at Thomas with a softer expression. “None of us have the luxury of taking a holiday these days, let alone two weeks.”

“Mrs. Hughes, I fear if you don’t, you’ll find yourself forced to rest. You can’t deny that you’ve been tired.”

“We’re all tired.”

“But you’re a leader. You set the tone for the rest of the female staff.”

Mrs. Hughes looked away while considering Thomas’s suggestion.

“Anna and Miss Baxter are fully capable of leading while you’re away,” Thomas said, anticipating Mrs. Hughes next excuse.

Mrs. Hughes sighed. “I’ll think it over and talk with Mr. Carson this evening. That is, if he’s not already asleep when I finally get home.”

Thomas released the breath he had been holding and nodded. The pressure of keeping the staff as healthy and able as possible might be the most stressful task of all, he thought.

*********

Thomas had dozed off with his head in Eli’s lap. He awoke to Eli’s fingers trailing slowly from his temple to the top of his ear, over and over, as Eli read a book he held in his other hand. 

“Sorry I nodded off,” Thomas said as he sat up, his voice hoarse from sleep.

Eli put his book face down on the arm of the sofa. “It’s alright, this was in arm’s reach.”

“How long was I asleep for?”

Eli pulled his watch from his pocket. “‘Bout an hour.”

Thomas slumped and sighed. “What a waste of the little time I had with you tonight.”

“No, it wasn’t a waste at all,” Eli said as he put his arm around Thomas, pulling him closer. “You’re sweet when you sleep, and you actually looked calm for once. You clearly needed to rest.”

“I agree, but I don’t think an hour will make much difference.”

Eli kissed Thomas’s cheekbone. “Then let’s take my canoe out Sunday after church. What better way to unwind than a picnic lunch and smooth waters? You said I could get you in the water when it was warmer.”

“You don’t forget a thing, do you?”

“Not if it has to do with you.”

Thomas slipped his arm around Eli’s lower back, his gloved palm resting softly on Eli’s waist. “I can’t Sunday. I committed to judge a flower competition.”

“Then the following Sunday.”

“I have to attend a luncheon.”

“You’ve an excuse for every season,” Eli said as he stood, leaving Thomas’s arm empty against the back of the sofa. 

“I’m a busy man.”

Eli crossed the small living space and poured himself a glass of water. He swallowed the entire glass before speaking. “So am I, but I’ll make time for you. Can’t you make a little time for yourself, too? We all need relaxation now and then.”

Thomas smiled, caught by the words he had said to Mrs. Hughes earlier that same day. “Alright, alright. I’ll come here after the competition. I’ll excuse myself as early as I can but it will likely take until mid-afternoon.”

Eli sat back down and held Thomas’s face in his hands. “Was that so hard? You’ll enjoy it, I promise,” he said, placing a firm kiss on Thomas’s lips.

“Let’s be honest. I’m doing it for you, not for me.”

“Whatever gets you in the canoe,” Eli said before kissing Thomas again.

When Sunday came, Thomas was able to lead his fellow judges to a swift crowning of a winner, and headed off to Eli’s cottage much earlier than he anticipated. Eli wasn’t in the cottage, and Thomas walked by the barns before a young farmhand directed Thomas to a small shed by the edge of the woods. The doors were propped open and Thomas could see Eli from behind, seated at a spinning wheel. 

“Haven’t you a girl to do that?” Thomas asked, removing his hat as he entered the shed.

Eli didn’t return Thomas’s smile as he sweated in the small, warm shed. He was quiet for a long moment before he spoke. “A girl? Like my wife? Or do you mean my daughter? Who else would do this, Thomas? You of all people should know there’s no girl of any kind in my world.” 

Taken aback by Eli’s brash tone, Thomas kneeled next to Eli. “Where’s this coming from? All I meant was that I figured you’d hire a girl for a job like this. I just passed a boy working your farm. It’s the same thing.”

Eli let out a sigh as the wheel slowed to a stop, but didn’t reply to Thomas.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just embarrassing.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Here we go with you being embarrassed again.”

“Well I’m not judging flower shows on a Sunday,” Eli said as he picked wisps of wool from his trousers. “I didn’t expect you so early, I wouldn’t have been in here if I had.”

“What an odd thing to say. It’s as if you think I think I’m better than you.”

Eli wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “No, of course I don’t think that. I don’t know. A little? I mean, you are better than me. At least in status.”

Thomas turned toward the sound of chickens clucking. A coupe sat in the shade of the shed. “They sound hungry, why don’t I feed them?”

Eli stood. “In your Sunday best?”

“This old thing?” Thomas said, rising as well. “I can wash it.”

“No, I’m sure you have a girl to do that,” Eli said, finally smiling.

Thomas looked out of the door once more, and seeing no one coming, kissed Eli’s cheek. “You wash up while I feed your chickens.”  
Eli’s mood improved as he freshened up. After washing his face, he looked into the mirror and told himself to set aside his insecurities for the afternoon. He was finally getting the kind of date he had begged Thomas to go on for months. He packed a picnic basket as he waited for Thomas to come in.

As the two men approached the pond where Eli had tied up his canoe, a gaggle of children played tag on the grass. The men watched as a young boy tried and failed to climb a large tree. Eli tapped the boy’s shoulder and offered a hand. He laced his fingers together and let the boy use his hands as a stepping stool, and hoisted the boy high enough to grab the lowest branch. Eli turned around to Thomas as soon as the boy was safely sitting three branches up. “Shall we join him?”

Thomas patted a child’s head who had run into him as she tried to escape becoming “it”. “Climb the tree? Are you serious?”

“Why not? When was the last time you climbed a tree?”

Thomas looked up at the tree as he tried to recall. “I was a little older than these children, but not by much.”

Eli removed his jacket and tossed it over the lowest branch for safe keeping. He rolled up his sleeves while smiling at Thomas, then followed the same path of branches the child had climbed until he was up in the tree. Thomas was distracted by Eli’s forearms as Eli climbed, and if he was being completely honest with himself, he was also distracted by Eli’s backside. 

“It’s your turn,” Eli called down. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” Thomas mumbled as he removed his jacket. 

Eli’s eyes were on the boy, ensuring the little one’s continued climb was safe, and he looked down as he heard Thomas grunt with the effort of pulling himself onto the first branch. Despite grunting, it didn’t take Thomas as much effort as Eli expected to climb all the way up beside him. When Thomas arrived, his hair had come free of it’s neat styling and rested across an eyebrow. Eli thought it was just about the sexiest thing he had ever seen. 

“You’re quite athletic, aren’t you?”

“I wouldn’t be breathing this hard if I were,” Thomas said with a laugh.

Eli tucked Thomas’s hair back in place. “You wouldn’t have made it up here if you weren’t. You’re probably the world’s only butler who can climb a tree better than a bear.”

Thomas laughed again, and Eli absorbed the warmth of Thomas’s smile. If not for all these children I could kiss him, Eli thought. 

“How long do I have to sit up here before I have to sit out there?” Thomas asked with a nod to the pond.

“You say it like it’s such a chore. Oh, I have to enjoy this beautiful spring afternoon. I might get sunshine on my skin for once.”

“Well, my skin’s quite fare, it could burn if there’s too much sunshine.”

“Darn, I should’ve gotten you a parasol,” Eli said, smiling at the image.

Thomas shook his head, then climbed back to the ground, dangling from the lowest branch for a moment before dropping to his feet. He smoothed his waistcoat and then offered a hand to help Eli down. They both helped the boy before heading to Eli’s canoe. Eli carried both of their jackets along with the picnic basket.

The canoe was tied amongst several others, and stood out with its fine paint job and varnish. Another one of Eli’s talents, Thomas thought. 

“I’ll navigate us to some shade, don’t worry,” Eli told Thomas as he helped him step into the canoe. “It’d truly be a pity to scorch that beautiful skin of yours.”

“I was only joking.”

“Well, I’m not. Why don’t you have a smoke while I paddle, and then I’ll have one while you paddle.”

“You? A smoke?”

Eli kicked the canoe away from the shore, then sat between the oars, one bench between both men. “Why not? It’s a special occasion.”

The children’s laughter grew quieter as Eli steered the canoe deeper into the pond, replaced by the sounds of birds and frogs. Both men enjoyed the view, and as Thomas looked at the canopy of trees above them, Eli took a moment to look Thomas over. He smiled at how relaxed Thomas looked. As Thomas held his cigarette to his lips, the light reflected off a thin, iridescent scar down his wrist. Eli had never noticed it before, and looked to see if there was a matching scar on Thomas’s other arm. Eli swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat imagining how the scars found their way to Thomas’s wrists. It’s not my business, Eli thought. He’ll tell me if and when he wants to.

“You alright?” Thomas asked.

“Never better,” Eli replied. “You, me, alone.”

Thomas beckoned Eli with his finger. Eli set the oars down and carefully moved himself to the bench closest to Thomas. The canoe bobbed and settled, and as the rings from the oars disappeared into the water, the water became completely still around them. A breeze kept any flying bugs at bay, and also made Thomas’s hair fall over his eye once more. Eli took Thomas’s cigarette from him and flicked it into the water, rested his hands on Thomas’s waist, and leaned in for a kiss.

Thomas held Eli’s face delicately in his palm and kissed him softly and slowly, a quiet moan escaping as the kiss deepened. 

Eli’s hands moved lower, resting now on Thomas's backside, and then began slowly traveling around to Thomas’s front.

Thomas broke the kiss and put his hands on Eli’s wrists. “It’s private here, but not that private.”

Eli sighed and put his hands back on Thomas’s rear. “Can I at least keep them here? Please give me that much.”

Thomas nodded. “I’ll allow it.” He stroked Eli’s face and saw Eli’s eyes glance at his bare wrist. He almost started to explain, but now wasn’t the time. It was the time to kiss Eli again, and again, and again.


	4. Chapter 4

Late spring marked the beginning of a weekly open-air farmers market in the village. As the family planned to take a picnic lunch to the first market of the season, Thomas gave the staff permission to visit the market for the afternoon. Besides the expected vendors and foodstuffs, there would be games and activities. 

Thomas thought he should stay back and work while downstairs was quiet, but Mrs. Hughes nudged him to join. “If I’m an example for the staff, what do you think that makes you?” she asked as she handed Thomas his hat.

Lady Mary offered for the nanny to take the Bates’s toddler along with the other children, and Anna regretted turning down the offer as her toddler whined and wiggled in his pram on the walk to the village. Thomas was more than happy to carry the little one all the way to the market. Once there, Thomas attempted to place the boy down, but he had other ideas. “I’ll walk him around,” Thomas told Anna, “and I’ll bring him back with something to nibble to keep him occupied.”

With the boy contently sitting on his hip, Thomas walked the village’s main road. It was closed to through-traffic, covered by large tents to shelter the tables of the local farmers’ goods. A warm breeze blew in from the sides of the tent, making the skirts on the tables flutter.

“You’re good with children, aren’t you?” a voice hummed over Thomas’s shoulder.

“Until they learn how to behave like adults,” Thomas replied with a smile, looking into Eli’s warm brown eyes.

Eli nodded to his right. “Mine’s over there. I got a girl to manage it today, though.”

Thomas followed Eli’s gaze, and indeed a teenage girl smiled to Eli as she helped patrons at his table. “Eli, when I said that I didn’t mean-”

“No, no it’s fine,” Eli said, amused. “Your little comment actually got me thinking. She’s my cousin’s daughter, and my cousin’d mentioned she could use some work. I’m sure people are much happier to buy from a lovely young woman than a bristly old farmer.”

“Yes, you’re so bristly and old,” Thomas replied. “I know you’re just fishing for a compliment.”

“Stop making me smile like this.”

“Like how?”

“Like we’re flirting.”

“Why would I flirt with someone bristly and old?”

Eli wanted to both swat and kiss Thomas, but instead lead him over to the table. He introduced his cousin’s daughter, then asked the Bates’s boy what he would like. The boy babbled something Eli tried to understand, and Thomas translated that he wanted some berries. Thomas reached into his pocket with his free hand, but Eli stopped him. “I’m more than happy to give the boy a snack for free,” he said.

Andy bumped into Thomas and offered to walk the boy back to Anna. With his hands free and his afternoon cleared, Thomas walked around the market with Eli. Eli admitted to having seen Thomas with George before, and complimented Thomas on his way with children. Thomas dismissed the compliment by saying children are simply easier to get along with than adults. 

As the two walked, Thomas greeted and nodded ‘hello’ to dozens of villagers. The more people Thomas acknowledged, the quieter Eli became. Eli finally said he needed to return to check on his cousin’s daughter. 

“I’d kiss you goodbye if I could,” Thomas said quietly.

“I’d do more than that if you’d let me,” Eli said with a laugh, but Thomas sensed something a bit melancholy behind the comment.

For the servant’s afternoon tea, Mrs. Patmore included items she found at the market, and the servants brought some of their purchases to the table to share. Fruits, pastries, candies, jams, crackers, cheese - the chatter around the table was joyful when mouths weren’t full. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy even joined.

“This one’s especially good,” Mrs. Patmore said as she handed a jar of jam to Mrs. Hughes. Mrs. Hughes twisted the top, and Thomas asked to take a look at the lid.

“I’m friendly with the farmer who made this,” Thomas told Mrs. Patmore.

“Really?” she asked, accepting the lid back from Thomas and the jar from Mrs. Hughes. “If you see him, could you ask him if he has more? There weren’t many jars at his table.”

Thomas felt his cheeks blush at the topic of Eli, and he made sure his tone was measured before continuing to talk. “I can, sure. But I don’t think this is his specialty.”

“Well it should be,” Mrs. Patmore said before handing Mrs. Hughes something else to try.

Thomas licked his lips, his eyebrows knitting together as a thought came over him.

……………

It took a week, but Mrs. Hughes finally scheduled her time away from Downton. She met with Anna, Miss Baxter, and Thomas in Thomas’s office. Over a pot of tea, they discussed work to be completed in Mrs. Hughes’s. As the meeting concluded and the women stood to leave, Thomas asked Miss Baxter to stay. When the other were out of earshot, Thomas asked Miss Bater to shut the door.

“Is there something else about Mrs. Hughes’s holiday we need to discuss?” Miss Baxter asked.

“No,” Thomas said, removing his spectacles now that his note-taking was over. “Something personal, if you don’t mind.”

“You know I never mind.”

Thomas ran his tongue quickly across his upper lip as he thought of how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I think I found a friend.”

“A friend?” Miss Baxter asked, folding her hands softly in her lap. “A friend here?”

“No, no. Not a friend like you and me.”

“I’m glad to hear we’re friends.”

Thomas smiled. His eyes darted from his desk, to the door, to the window, and back. “The other kind of ‘friend’,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

Miss Baxter’s face brightened with an open-mouth smile. “Mr. Barrow, what wonderful news!”

“I said ‘think’,” Thomas said, putting up a finger. His hand then reached into his jacket for a cigarette. 

“Is that the part you want to discuss?”

Thomas tapped his cigarette on the desk. “You know how long it took me to trust you. How can I expect to trust someone after just a few months of knowing him?”

“How many months?”

Thomas lit his cigarette and replied with it between his lips. “Five or so.”

Miss Baxter smiled again. “Five months is time enough to know if you want to be the other kind of friends with someone.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I probably knew after five minutes,” Thomas said with a half smile.

“Then why the reservation?”

Thomas sighed. “What happens if it doesn’t work?”

“Then it doesn’t work. Then maybe you’re hurt. But how much more hurtful would it be not to try?”

Thomas nodded. “I knew you would say that, but I needed to hear it.”

“And I’m here for you either way.”

“I’m thankful you are.”

Miss Baxter let Thomas fill her teacup. “So now what?”

“Now,” Thomas said, pouring tea for himself next, “I work up the nerve to tell him how I feel. I think he knows, but he’s like me enough to want to hear it. I’ve made no commitments of any kind to him.”

“Then you need to,” Miss Baxter said, raising her cup to Thomas before taking a small sip.

“Then I need to,” Thomas repeated, raising his cup as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the mature rating :)

Even more than a year after becoming butler, the butler’s bedroom still felt like an oasis to Thomas. The thick mattress, stately furniture, large window - he never knew how much he envied those kind of things until he finally had them. And yet they still felt quite meager compared to Eli owning his own cottage, even a modest one, let alone the fact that Eli owned an entire farm.

Thomas paced his room, looking in the mirror periodically to practice what he wanted to say to Eli. He had never been very good at summarizing his feelings. Either he blurted them out, or he never revealed them. Finding a happy medium was no happy task. He considered running his thoughts by Miss Baxter again, but decided he had bothered her with them enough.

After two cigarettes and a glass of brandy did nothing to help him relax, Thomas double checked the lock on his door, turned out his lights, and settled into bed. He closed his eyes and slipped his hand into his pajamas. He skipped past imagining what he would say to Eli and instead pictured what he hoped would come next. Finally freeing one another of their clothing, finding their way to Eli’s bed, letting Eli put his hands and lips anywhere and everywhere Eli longed to explore. Thomas’s eyes opened as he realized he had put Eli off because the word “love” had yet to pass Eli’s lips. What if he still doesn’t say it even when I do, Thomas wondered. He closed his eyes and pushed the thought aside, focusing again on what it would feel like when their bodies finally connected.

When morning came, Thomas awoke with a much clearer head. So clear, in fact, that he had no patience to wait three days until he was supposed to meet Eli for dinner. He found it difficult to even make it until the afternoon when he would be able to slip out between tea and dinner service. With the words he wanted to say, and also ready to share the idea he came up with on the day of the market, Thomas marched to Eli’s. 

The farm was awash in late afternoon sun when Thomas arrived. The orange and yellow light streamed between tree branches and fence posts, little pollen particles dancing in the beams. Eli’s cousin’s daughter was tending to the youngest lambs while the farmhand cut wood, and they both chatted back and forth loudly over the sound of the axe. Thomas interrupted to ask where he could find Eli. Both young people pointed to the main barn.

“Knock knock,” Thomas said from the open barn door. He expected a warm greeting, having already forgotten how much Eli disliked being surprised on the job.

“At least I’m not in an embarrassing position this time,” Eli said as he wrapped up a rope.

“Need a hand?” Thomas asked, stepping inside.

Eli shook his head, hanging the heavy rope high on a thick nail. “You’re dressed too nicely for this.”

“I can decide that, can’t I? I don’t mind helping.”

“Well I mind you helping,” Eli said, turning his back to begin wrapping another loose rope.

The warm feelings that Thomas had floated on all day began to cool. “I know I showed up unannounced, but I can’t exactly call ahead. There’s no phone in the barn.”

“Right, because it’s not a cozy butler’s office. It’s a hot, dirty barn with about a dozen menial tasks I need to finish before sunset.”

“I just offered to help.”

“Your help isn’t help.”

Thomas put his fingers to his temples. “What do you want from me?”

Eli dropped the rope on the ground and then threw his hands in the air. “And what do you want from me! And why do you want me? Or this?” he added, gesturing to his surroundings. “You look so out of place standing there as dapper as you are.”

“I believe that’s the most backhanded compliment I’ve ever received, and I’ve received my fair share.”

“Don’t be funny,” Eli huffed.

“You want to say something, so just say it, Eli. Do us both a favor and get whatever it off your chest.”

Eli raked his fingers through his hair, then crossed his arms. “Why did you come down this afternoon?”

“Forget that now. Say what you’re thinking.”

Eli’s jaw clenched. “You’re Mr. Barrow. It’s just… intimidating. I live in the shadow of your grand house, down here in the lowly dirt. I despise you seeing me this way.”

“A working farm is not lowly dirt. And it certainly is not my house.”

“Do you not live in it?”

Thomas removed his hat and stepped closer to Eli. “I sleep in a dormitory. You sleep in your own home. I work for someone who towers over me in social rank. You work for yourself.” Thomas tossed his hat on a stool and crossed the rest of the space that separated him from Eli. He uncrossed Eli’s arms and took Eli’s hands. “I’ve been part of it, too, but this pitiful competition over which one of us is lesser than the other needs to stop. Now.”

Eli’s eyes grew watery and he took a hand from Thomas’s to them. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I wish I could just kiss you and move on from this pity party I’m having.”

“So do it. Kiss me and we’ll both move on.”

Eli looked over Thomas’s shoulder quickly, then clutched Thomas’s face in both hands and kissed him fervidly. He breathed in deeply through his nose and sighed as Thomas kissed him back. 

Thomas broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Eli’s. “Now can I say what I came down here to say?”

Eli nodded. “Yes. Please, please change the subject.”

Thomas closed his eyes and whispered, “I love you, you know.”

Eli laughed and wiped his eye again. “I didn’t know. I hoped, but I didn’t know for sure. You came here to tell me you loved me and I was being a fool. I’m so daft.”

“We can both be a little foolish and daft, can’t we?”

Eli nodded again. “I love that we can be foolish together. And I love you, too, Thomas.”

Thomas swallowed and let out a deep breath of relief. “I used to say it too easily, hoping it would make the words true. Hoping someone might actually return those kind of feelings for me. I’m so sorry it took me too long to say it to you.”

Eli held Thomas’s face again, but took a step back and looked into Thomas’s eyes. “No more apologies. We’re good enough for each other. I accept it. Do you?”

“I do,” Thomas said, gazing back into Eli’s eyes. “Can I say it again?”

“Say it.”

“I love you”

Eli kissed Thomas again, deeper, pulling him closer, mumbling “I love you” as their lips met over and over. 

“I can come back tonight,” Thomas said between kisses.

“Let’s go inside now,” Eli said as his hands began sliding lower.

“You know we can’t right now.”

Eli groaned. “Yes, yes, fine. But do come back tonight. I’ll be waiting.”

“You better be waiting,” Thomas said with an impish grin.

“That look on your face right now, my God. Look at me again like that tonight.”

Thomas kissed Eli one last time. “Just look at you? I had so many other ideas for what we could do.”

“One of those ideas better not be to tease me.”

“What if the teasing pays off at the end?”

Eli playfully pushed Thomas away. “Then it’s not only allowed, but encouraged.”

Thomas picked up his hat, but as he turned to leave he remembered the other reason he came to Eli’s farm that afternoon. “Oh,” he said, causing Eli to look up from adjusting himself. “One other thing.”

“Oh dear.”

“No, it’s good. I think it’s good at least. A thought I had,” Thomas began, approaching Eli. “Our cook really enjoyed the jam you made. I bet she’d like your other pet projects as well. And we just have two in the kitchen these days, it’s hard for them to make everything for the entire house, upstairs and down.”

“Yes?”

“Well, what if you dedicated some of your time to making things like bread, and tarts, and all the other things you enjoy making, and delivered them to the house? You’d be compensated of course, just like we pay for any kitchen delivery. I mean I know it’s not a bakery in London, but it’s something.”

“But haven’t you lamented that the budget is tight?”

“Leave that to me. The food needs to be there one way or another, whether the staff spends their time making it or we pay for you to make it. Time is money afterall. And with that money, you could probably hire a little more help for the menial tasks.”

Eli was quiet, and Thomas wondered if his idea wasn’t so good afterall. 

“It’s just an idea,” Thomas said, filling the silence. “But I’ve vetted it a bit. And like I said, I know it’s not your dream or anything. But a little bit of a dream is better than none at all, isn’t it?”

Eli’s eyes were teary once more. “Oh, I wasn’t quiet because I don’t like your idea. Rather the opposite. The fact that you spent so much of your time thinking of a way to help me be a bit happier… that alone makes me happy.”

Thomas’s shoulders relaxed. “I think it could work.”

“I would be happy to experiment at the very least. What’s there to lose? Some loaves of bread? I don’t need to be a big baker in a big city to be happy. As long as I’m making something, I’ll be quite content. And as long as I have you.”

“You can have me as long as you like.”

“Forever it is, then,” Eli said with a smile.

What felt like forever to Eli was waiting until evening for Thomas to return. He finished all of his work quickly thanks to the energy he had after Thomas’s visit, and spent the rest of his afternoon thinking of ways to make Thomas’s idea work best. Making lists of ingredients and supplies he would need brought back good memories, though his mind kept wandering away to imagine his evening with Thomas. When the sun went down and the farm grew quiet, Eli’s heart began beating faster. Just as he thought he saw Thomas in the distance, he heard a sheep bleat somewhere close to the cottage. 

“Are you kidding me?” he hissed out loud. Hearing another bleat, Eli stood, cocking his ear to determine the direction of the sound. It seemed to come from the front yard. Eli opened his front door slowly so as not to startle the animal, and found the sheep munching blades of grass between the bricks of his front walkway. As he stepped toward the sheep, it looked up quickly from it’s evening snack, and then skittered away back down towards the farm.

“Are you kidding me?” Eli yelled this time, raising his hands in the direction the sheep ran off.

“What happened?” Thomas called from the road. 

“A stupid sheep being stupid, what’s else? I have to catch her before we go inside.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Thomas-”

Thomas put his finger to Eli’s lips. “I will help you. You will let me.”

Eli nodded. The two walked swiftly behind Eli’s cottage, and Eli put out his arm to stop Thomas. The sheep was now stealing a drink of water from a rain barrel. 

“I’ll go to her right, you go to her left, and one of us will catch her,” Eli whispered.

“Her right, not my right, right?” Thomas asked.

Eli flicked Thomas’s hat brim. “Right. On the count of three.”

On “three”, Thomas realized he had no idea how to properly grab the sheep if he actually caught up to her. He couldn’t help laughing as they both tried, very much in vain, to capture the disobedient animal.

“Is there some sort of sheep call?” Thomas asked Eli.

“I want to tell you what it is, and see you try to do it, but that particular one doesn’t care. Food, though. She’ll come for food usually.”

“I can’t blame her, really. I respond better to food than yelling.”

Eli jogged to the barn and returned with a small, round item that looked like a cookie. 

Thomas sniffed it and then looked at Eli. “Do you… do you bake for the sheep?”

“It’s oats and apples. They like it. Stop looking at me like that and offer this to her. I’ll grab her when she takes it.”

The sheep was certainly familiar with the treat and skipped over to Thomas greedily. Thomas was startled by how swiftly and easily Eli was able to physically overtake the animal, and then carry her back to the barn. 

Eli returned, wiping his hands on his trousers. “Alas, I was all washed up and waiting for you,” he said, catching his breath. “I really need a better system for apprehending naughty sheep.”

“I don’t know,” Thomas said, his eyes reflecting the silver moonlight, “you’re quite adorable trying to catch them, and actually quite sexy when you do.”

Eli laughed. “Sexy, I’m sure.”

“Very,” Thomas said, pulling Eli toward him by the hips. 

Eli’s back straightened and his smile grew. “My, my. The most interesting things turn you on.”

“If I’m being honest, I’ve been turned on for the past twenty four hours.”

“I’ve been turned on for the past six months,” Eli replied. 

A sheep bleated her response from inside the barn.

Both men laughed, and Eli grabbed Thomas by the hand. “I can’t do this out here. Get inside.” He lead Thomas to the cottage, not realizing how hard he squeezed Thomas’s hand as his entire body buzzed with anticipation.

Thomas placed his hat on the dining table and let Eli take his jacket. 

Eli took Thomas’s hand again. “Do you want something to drink? I’m just being polite. Say no so that I can take you to the bedroom.”

Thomas shrugged. “I could go for a drink. And a snack. Maybe a quick nap?”

“I’m this close to picking you up and carrying you to bed.”

“You’re strong, and a sheep sure, but I’m about the same size as you and-”

Eli bent his knees and picked Thomas up in his arms. “No, I’m bigger,” he said, smiling down at Thomas, “and determined.” 

Thomas laughed. “Fine, fine. Put me down.”

“Promise you’ll stop teasing.”

“I don’t promise.” Thomas straightened his shirt after Eli set him back on his feet. “I could lift you if I wanted.”

“I’m sure you could. I saw you climb that tree, remember.”

“I remember. I keep thinking of watching you climb it.”

“Oh really?” Eli said, leading Thomas by the hand to the bedroom. “I didn’t realize you were watching me.”

“I was watching parts of you.”

Eli turned on a lamp on the dresser. “Which parts?”

Thomas ran his thumb over Eli’s wrist, then undid Eli’s cufflinks. He slipped his fingers under Eli’s sleeves and felt his forearms. “These.”

“Anything else?”

Thomas slid Eli’s braces from his shoulders and untucked Eli’s shirt. He placed his fingertips lightly on Eli’s back and let them trail to the top of Eli’s trousers. He paused, then let his hands travel lower. “Mostly my eyes were here.”

“I’m sorry, where?”

Thomas squeezed Eli in his hands and pulled him closer. “Here.”

“It’s hard to tell, my trousers are in the way.”

Thomas gave Eli the same devilish look as he had earlier, and Eli felt a shiver climb up his spine in response. 

“Then we better take them off,” Thomas said, his voice deep and low.

“We better,” Eli said, his lips feeling numb as blood rushed elsewhere in his body.

Eli helped Thomas free him from his clothing, with only a passing fear that Thomas may not like what he saw. Eli’s concern completely disappeared when Thomas’s eyes were finally on him. He thought Thomas might even pounce given the expression on his face.

“Your turn,” Eli said, his fingers shaking as he reached for Thomas’s shirt buttons. As soon as Thomas’s shirt was on the floor, Eli’s fingers were on his chest, then his stomach, then at his trouser button’s. He kissed Thomas’s neck slowly as he undid the buttons, inhaling a mixture of Thomas’s tobacco, aftershave, and soap. It was more intoxicating than any wine they had shared together. Thomas let out a quiet moan through parted lips as Eli kissed lower and lower, dropping to his knees to help Thomas out of his trousers. 

Eli looked up, meeting Thomas’s eyes, both men now smiling mischievously. He wrapped his hand around Thomas’s base, opened his mouth, then looked up again. “May I?”

Thomas ran his fingers through Eli’s hair, knowing Eli wanted to hear him ask. “Yes, love. Please.” 

Thomas’s eyes closed and his head rolled to the side as Eli’s mouth enclosed around him. They both moaned with relief from the long anticipated moment. Thomas tried not to hold Eli’s hair too tightly in his fingers, but it was difficult given the amount of pleasure he received. He looked down and watched, feeling weak in the knees at the sight of Eli’s lips around him, and even weaker when Eli looked up at him through tousled hair. Eli reached between Thomas’s legs with his free hand, caressing Thomas’s backside, not sure if Thomas was comfortable with anything more intimate. Sensing Eli’s hesitence, Thomas stepped his legs a little further apart, just enough to send the message that he was comfortable with more.

Eli licked his middle finger, then took Thomas even deeper into his mouth as he slipped his fingers back between Thomas’s legs. He pressed against Thomas, making sure Thomas was truly comfortable. Thomas thrust himself deeper still between Eli’s lips, his fingers grabbing Eli’s hair tighter. He gasped and moaned as Eli pushed inside. Standing became too much as his head swam in clouds of bliss. 

“Bed,” Thomas managed to say.

“Mmm hmm,” Eli said from his knees. He stood and let Thomas walk him backward towards the bed, falling onto it, crawling backward until his head hit the pillows. He slid his hands along Thomas’s body as Thomas crawled over him, Thomas’s eyes scanning Eli slowly, taking all of him in as he made his way to Eli’s lips. As he kissed Eli, he wrapped a hand around both of them, eliciting a moan as he squeezed. They both pumped their hips and panted, smiling and gazing at each other. 

At first Thomas was a bit self conscious when Eli turned a light on in the bedroom, but now he was thankful he could see everything they were doing. He looked down between their bodies, then back to his lover’s eyes. “What do you prefer. Be honest. Do we continue where you were going before, or would you rather…”

“Isn’t there time for both?”

Thomas grinned. “I love how you think.” He kissed his way down Eli’s body and licked Eli’s length slowly, methodically, with a hint of teasing, and took great pleasure in the loud moan Eli released when Thomas wrapped his mouth around him. When he Eli began pushing against him rhythmically, he gave one last lick and looked up. “Ready?”

Eli nodded emphatically. Thomas sat across Eli’s hips, reached back to position Eli, and held Eli’s gaze as he sat down. A stream of compliments and curse words came from Eli as Thomas settled onto him, Eli completely drunk on the sensation of being inside Thomas. Eli clutched the bed with both hands and tried to keep his hips still, allowing Thomas to determine the pace and depth. The more Thomas moved, the less Eli could control himself. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Thomas, burying his face in Thomas’s neck as he buried himself inside Thomas. 

Thomas held onto Eli tighter and tighter as their pace quickened. The small twinges of pain he felt at first finally melted away, leaving only pleasure in their wake. He relaxed and his moans grew deeper, his breathing more shallow, and his body let Eli slide all the way inside. 

“If you want a turn, you better take it,” Eli panted. “This is too good for me to last.”

Thomas put a hand on Eli’s chest to lay him back on the bed and slid off of Eli, a groan of disappointment coming from Eli despite his having made the suggestion. Thomas held himself still for Eli to lick, then settled his hips between Eli’s legs. He held himself in one hand and Eli in the other, pumping both for a moment before taking his turn, as Eli had put it. As Thomas pushed inside, Eli moaned louder than when he was inside Thomas, and Thomas’s moans joined Eli’s as he slid in deeper. 

Eli arched his back to press himself against Thomas’s stomach. Thomas wrapped an arm around Eli’s back and rolled them both over, putting Eli on top. He nudged Eli to sit up and grabbed Eli firmly at the base. Eli slowly began rocking his hips, pushing himself into Thomas’s hand, then sitting himself down on Thomas, back and forth with growing speed. Thomas stayed still and let Eli take over the pace, the sight of Eli moving in and out as he moved up and down becoming more than he could take. He beckoned Eli to his lips, kissing Eli deeply as he felt himself at the edge. 

He pumped again and the tight heat of Eli enveloped around him finally pushed him over. He moaned into Eli’s mouth, licking Eli’s tongue breathlessly, thinking he might have become completely weightless in his haze. His orgasm started deep inside before spreading throughout his entire being in wave after wave.

Eli smiled down as Thomas’s eyes rolled behind his eyelids. Thomas, still stroking Eli, opened his eyes and smiled up at Eli through eyelids still heavy with lust. The eye contact sent another shiver up Eli’s back, this time the spark of several shivers that brought him to his climax. Thomas pumped faster until Eli came in quick, successive bursts across Thomas’s stomach and chest. Before he could wonder if Thomas minded, Thomas had pulled Eli back down on top of him, groaning as they kissed again. 

“It’s alright that I did that?” Eli asked softly.

“More than alright,” Thomas murmured into Eli’s lips.

“God do I love you,” Eli whispered, kissing Thomas again before falling onto the bed next to him.

Thomas sighed as his heart slowed back to its normal rhythm. He put out his arm for Eli to lay with him. “I love you more than I could ever say,” he whispered, sighing again as Eli nestled in beside Thomas as close as he could.

After both men found their heartbeats back to normal, Eli suggested they take a quick bath so that Thomas could return home nice and clean. The bath turned into another session of roaming hands, lips, and tongues. Drying one another off with towels lead to the same, and a glass of wine to toast the evening ended with them both on the floor by the fire, needing to wash up once more.

“At this point you should probably just stay and head back at first light,” Eli said as he absently ran his fingers through Thomas’s chest hair.

“I don’t think I have the energy to get up off this floor right now, let alone make it all the way back.”

“Then I suppose you’ll have to share my bed with me tonight.”

“If I must,” Thomas sighed, patting Eli’s bare behind. “Can’t promise I’ll keep my hands to myself, though.”

“You better not keep them to yourself,” Eli replied, kissing Thomas again, starting what would be one last romp before lights-out. 

***********************

Mrs. Patmore clapped her hands together as Eli carried a snow-speckled crate into Downton’s kitchen. “Ah, he’s alive after all! I thought you’d never get here. Guests arrive in three hours.”

“So sorry,” Eli said, patting snow from is gloves. “I don’t manage my time as well as you do.”

“Well, when the hustle and bustle from the holidays are over, perhaps I can share some of my wisdom with you.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“She’ll do it because she thinks you’re so handsome,” Daisy said from her spot at the cutting board.

Mrs. Patmore tucked her fists into her hips. “Why do you have to say that?”

“Because it’s true,” Daisy said, making quick work of an onion. “And it’s funny.”

“What’s funny?” Andy asked as he rushed into the kitchen to offer assistance. 

“Nothing, Andy,” Mrs. Patmore said. “Why don’t you help our friend with the rest of his delivery?”

“I can do that,” Thomas said from the kitchen doorway. “Andy, please keep an eye on the boys upstairs while I help down here.”

Thomas followed Eli to the courtyard to help unload his wagon. “Are you coming tonight?”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Not the one year anniversary of the first time I set eyes on you.”

Thomas smiled, remembering his first sight of Eli from across the great hall. “You were bold to approach me.”

“I never would have forgiven myself if I didn’t say hello.”

Thomas grabbed a crate and lead the way to the stairs, but stopped before opening the door. “I have a Christmas gift for you.”

“That’s sweet,” Eli said, hoping Thomas would open the door as the crates he held grew heavier.

“It’s a bit of a tradition here at Downton. I have to bring it to you, I can’t give it to you here.”

“Curious, but alright. When?”

“In the morning. We’ll be there bright and early.”

“‘We’?” Eli asked as Thomas opened the door. “‘We’?” he repeated again in a whisper as they walked to the kitchen.

Thomas shushed him, placed the crate on the kitchen counter, and went back outside for another crate without responding. He shushed Eli when he asked again, and refused to give any clues when he saw Eli at the party that evening.

Noticing the glances between Thomas and Eli that evening, Miss Baxter asked Thomas directly whether Eli was his mysterious male friend.

“Why are you paying attention to me? Pay attention to the party. Enjoy yourself!”

“So you’re not going to answer?” Miss Baxter asked, accepting the glass of wine Thomas offered her.

Thomas poured another glass as he saw Mrs. Hughes approaching. “Take a non-answer as an answer.”

Miss Baxter smiled to herself and looked at Eli from across the hall. “You certainly know how to pick them.”

“Miss Baxter, it’s a relaxed evening, but let’s not relax too much,” Thomas said as Mrs. Hughes joined them. 

Mrs. Hughes gladly accepted the wine. She was much more relaxed these days herself, having taken Thomas’s offer of a partial retirement. Mr. Carson joined them, as well, and the four toasted to the evening.

Eli admired Thomas from the distance. And he smiled as the children of the house ran up to Thomas, followed by their parents. As much as Thomas protested when Eli said he fit in well amongst the gilded walls of Downton, he truly did look confident and comfortable with both his peers and his employers. When Mrs. Patmore joined the circle of chatting staff and Crawleys, Eli felt he had an excuse to join as well. He considered Mrs. Patmore nearly a friend after half a year of fulfilling her orders. 

The morning after the Christmas party, Eli felt groggy upon awakening to the crow of the rooster. Too many glasses of wine from Thomas, he thought. He then remembered that Thomas said he would arrive in the morning, and jumped to his feet to wash up. “I heard you,” Eli said out loud as the rooster crowed again.

He put on a pot of coffee, double what he would normally make, and toasted some bread in case Thomas was hungry. Thomas was always hungry, Eli thought with a smile. He had a Christmas gift for Thomas; a sweater he made with wool from his own sheep. It wasn’t a fancy or lavish gift, but he hoped Thomas would appreciate that he took time to make something for him, and a bit of humbling to confess he not only knew how to knit, but enjoyed it as a hobby. With the money he made providing deliveries for Downton, he was able to hire some more help, but it made him realize he actually enjoyed some of the tasks he considered menial. There was no shame in running a successful farm, as Thomas insisted. He was finally able to see that for himself.

His front door opened a crack and Thomas looked in. “Good morning.”

“You can come in,” Eli chuckled from the kitchen. 

“Actually, can you come outside? Meet me at the big barn.”

“What is he up to?” Eli said out loud. He took the bread out of the oven and then put on his overcoat. The chilly air on his cheeks helped rouse him from the remaining groggy haze. “Thomas?” he called when he arrived at the barn with no one in sight.

“Let a sheep out,” Thomas called back from the side of the cottage.

Eli shook his head. “Are you drunk?”

“Just do it!”

Eli opened the barn doors, disappeared inside, and let out one sheep. She ran in a cheerful circle in front of the barn, celebrating her freedown.

“Alright, ready?” Thomas asked from afar.

“No?” Eli replied.

A few seconds later a large, sturdy, fleecy young dog came bounding from the side of the cottage toward the loose sheep. The dog ran a circle around the sheep even more joyfully than the sheep ran herself. He instinctively corralled her straight back into the barn, then sat in the doorway waiting for someone to finish the job of putting the sheep where she belonged.

“I concede that I’m not much of a help to you here,” Thomas said, joining Eli and the dog at the barn. “This boy can help, though, can’t you?” he said, ruffling the dog’s shaggy head.

Eli shook his head at Thomas. “Only you.”

“No, gifting dogs is a Downton tradition. You have to admit he’s just what you need.”

“I feel a little silly never thinking of it myself. I had them growing up here.”

“So you’ll keep him?”

Eli looked at the bright brown eyes peeking out at him from under fluffy strands of white and grey hair. “It’d be evil to say no to that face.”

“His or mine?”

Eli put his arm around Thomas’s waist and kissed him. “Both of your handsome faces.”

Back inside the cottage, Eli served a light breakfast, including one for his new roommate, and gave Thomas his gift. Thomas made a show of trying on the sweater and checking himself out in the mirror. It fit and flattered him well, and Thomas was just as touched as Eli hoped by the gesture. They joined each other on the sofa, each with their mug of coffee, Thomas snug in his sweater and Eli cozy with the dog curled up by his feet. For all the words of love the two had exchanged since first confessing their feelings, Thomas never felt it more than in that moment. He clinked his mug against Eli’s and took a long sip. Eli laid his head on Thomas’s shoulder and sighed. 

“Happy Christmas, Eli,” Thomas whispered, kissing Eli’s forehead.

Eli closed his eyes and smiled. “Happy Christmas, my love.”

~~~~~


End file.
